Phil Caldwell

Sports Blogging With a Grin

Timeline from Obama’s Seattle Visit

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Just reviewing the time frame & accomplishments made during yesterday’s Obama “Boom-Boom” campaign swing:

11:15am – Obama arrives midst adoring press corps & swooning teenaged groupies.

11:30am – Surgeons rushed to Boeing Field to help remove Christine Gregoire’s lip marks off Presidential hind quarters

11:32am – Obama Secret Service personnel perform immediate CPR on tennis-shoed Senator Murray attempting to resuscitate a personality

12pm – while munching on lunch goodies at the Tutta Bella pizza chain, Obama pledges $118.4 million to study expenditures of campaign tours charged to American taxpayers as Presidential visits.

12:18pm – Obama pledges $14.6 million towards study of Pioneer Square bodily odors.

12:36pm – Obama turns swimming pool water at the Westin Hotel into fine Roman vintage Domaine Romanée-Conti wine.

1:16pm – Presidential motorcade ticketed from four separate stoplight photo cameras

1:46pm – Obama scolds Tea Party protestors for being “out-of-touch” with American concerns

1:49pm – Obama reminds fans that grannies are in-fact a “right wing special interest group”

1:58pm – Obama grants $18.4 million to study the affects of botox injections in Nancy Polosi’s facial features

2:22pm – Blushed & sweating, Obama giggles that he cannot accept the SeattlePI’s Joel Connelly’s offer to carry and birth his next three children

2:32pm – An eery Obama-lookalike cloud formation floats mysterily over St Mark’s Cathedral, patrons fall to their knees

2:50pm – Congressman Jim McDermott raced to Harborview after suffering terrible infection while having Obama’s portrait tattooed across his privates.

3:15pm – Obama pledges $28.6 billion to eradicate dirty needles from tattoo parlors

3:32pm – Obama condemns Republicans for pushing tax cuts; Sternly lectures how America cannot afford this midst these troubling times of reduced revenue

3:33pm – Obama pledges $319.6 million to study reduced revenues.

3:52pm – Waterfront Teguilla shots for all paying $10,000 per plate while condemning Republican waste and arrogance

4:36pm – A scantily clad Patty Murray performs erotic belly dance on the patio of Ron Glaser

4:37pm – Visibly distraught President tramples 17 secret servicemen in a mad dash for his SUV hybrid.

4:45pm – Presidential motorcade rushes from the Medina neighborhood back towards his motorcade, Boeing Field.

5pm – while climbing the staircase to the new shiny Presidential private jet, Obama pledges $326 million towards eradicating wrinkles from former Attorney Generals.

5:07pm – Obama pledges $28.5 billion to support for Al Gore’s “carbon footprint” initiative – criticizes business CEO’s for wasteful spending habits

5:15pm – Obama and his jet burn $28,000 in fuel taking off from Boeing Field.

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Written by PhilCaldwell

August 18, 2010 at 8:22 am

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